for Beth
a love letter · est. november 2023
Beth
from the one who loves you most
times square · may 2026
the night the whole city looked at you
before anything else
My Beth, I have started this a hundred different ways, and every single one began with you. I know the weight between us right now is mine. I put it there, and I won't pretend otherwise. But underneath everything I got wrong sits the one thing I have never gotten wrong:
I love you.
chapter I · 2023 — 2024
Where it began
the first pages
chapter II
The holidays
all my favorite lights were you
chapter III
The adventures
zebras, horses, & your hands in clay
chapter IV · 2025
The everyday
my favorite ordinary days
chapter V · 2026
Now
still us. always us.
an incomplete inventory
A few of the ten thousand reasons
- i.the way you laugh with your whole body
- ii.how you glow in red, every single time
- iii.your hand finding mine without looking
- iv.the faces you make when you think no one is watching
- v.how every city we visit ends up looking better with you in it
- vi.the safest I ever sleep is next to you
- vii.that you have seen every version of me, and stayed
I am not asking you to forget what hurt you.
I am asking you to remember what built us.
The mistakes were mine. The foolishness was mine. But so is the lesson, and so is the man who is done learning it the hard way.
Every photograph here is a promise I already made, and intend to keep making: to choose you on the bright days, the heavy days, and every ordinary Tuesday in between.
I’m not going anywhere.
I love you, Beth.
always & in every version of this life — your Joel
est. november 2023· forever to go